A Fantasy: 2) Confession

My fantasy was all self-made.
I guess all fantasies are.
These fantasies so quickly manifest.
I spoke to him finally and
24-hours-later-or-less-
I was his world. And I loved it.
A secret indulgence perhaps.

And I’m sorry,
Firstly for intentionally
misleading you.
And secondly, obviously,
I am sorry for coupling him
with me, an unfortunate match (for him)
so degrading, he tenfold my better.

I think it’s boredom
and a fear that I will
make the same mistakes.
I thought I just needed someone new.
(Perhaps my need is for pills?)
This new figure was not him.

FLY INTO A FURY WRITER.
THIS IS FICTION.
All FICTION, so WHY
can’t I lie.
Make people believe me.
I just can’t.
I confess, I can’t amount to my words.
Unless they are true.
Oh writer, we surmise again,
you are narcissistic.
You always make yourself the subject.

(The second part to Regret)

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