The Internet Lament was created, rather hurriedly and with not as a lot of thought, through an internet generator which told you what to write in each line. What I was really searching for at the time was techniques for writing a lament as I was thinking about writing one for the people I live with. Anyway, I was reading what I wrote and I sort of wanted to address some the themes, that may not even be there and if they are, are spectacularly obvious. Also, I am really trying to get better at writing and creating and thinking of ideas of what to think and create.
Although laments are usually about the death of a person, or perhaps a thing, it is a death. And while in the lament no one dies, I would argue that the theme within it is not one of optimism. It is quite bleak, it does look up and hopes that the future is happy, but while at the same time is bogged down with the past and does not assume that future is guaranteed to be what they hope it will be.
The lament begins with a fact, it is as though it is a certainty that the voice acknowledges. It is a certainty with everyone and everything, regardless of what occurs, the thing is always that thing. It cannot alter it’s state. Unless of course you believe in reincarnation but even still that happens after death and is not within control. Furthermore by referring to the subject’s clothes it also comments on something very simple, it also almost sounds bored as though things are just happening. They may not be particularly bad things happening, they aren’t good either. The voice is just going through the motions of everyday life and is stuck in a monotonous routine.
“I am a by-product of human corruption”, I like that line, I think everyone is a by-product of their past. And I also think that everything is tainted by human corruption. Humans meddle with so much and through that it shapes a person’s character. (I think I wrote about this a few weeks ago.) It is the idea that people also need to makes mistakes, you can’t survive in a corrupted world, sinless.
I went home last weekend (my actual home, I am merely living in my current location because I am studying, but I love it here so much more. It has a character!) and although I didn’t enjoy the weekend as I was travelling south I treated it as as weekend in the sun. It wasn’t, it was not that much warmer, at least I couldn’t tell! As I moved when I was a child and ventured across the north-south-divide, and now I am here, I don’t really feel like I call anywhere “home”, it is where I live but I don’t hold my identity to any particular place. And in a way I wish I did. The area I am living in now is not as nice as the area I use to live in and it really bothers me that those two places can coexist.
Lastly, I would also like to comment on the line “I think my role is ‘mother’ but I don’t want to be my mother’. Here is halls I have got myself the reputation of being the mother figure and I hate it. I am only trying to be nice to them but they read differently into it. And I don’t want to be a mother because children get so messed up by their parents and I don’t want to be like my mother. My mother was never that awful, I was never abused. I probably had a better than a lot upbringing. But I have never got on with her. And the feeling that what you do will never be enough, I think that is a feeling that a lot of “children” will carry around with them for probably their whole lives. The feeling like you want them to be proud but never quite reaching it. I don’t want to control someone.