I realise part of my problem is that I am bored. I need to work out what I want to do and just do it. If that makes sense.
I want to try new places. Go for coffee somewhere new with a friend. Have favourite places. Have secret places. I want to experience culture much more often. Go to art galleries regularly, go to poetry readings. Listen to other people’s writing. Just listen to other people. And ask them what they’re thinking. What their opinions are on life and how they got them. I want to read more. I want to work on mood me more interesting by learning something new more often. And these don’t have to be some kind of worldly fact, it can simply be a close friend’s favourite colour. I want to fully engage with my course and the people on it. I want to really appreciate the small things, rather than stressing about the absence of the bigger things.
And this is just the beginning.
I know this list is probably selfish but the only way I can make anyone else happy is by making myself happier. If I carry on in the mindset I am in it may result in some kind of mental breakdown. A fear of mine is reaching the end of my life and realising I did nothing with my life.